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She got married today.
She moved across the country alongside the man she loves.
I have tried to explain how it feels, but I can't.
I wrote them a speech.
I tried to say it.
And it was an understatement.
Saying that I am proud is an understatement. Saying that I am happy is an understatement. Saying that I am sad is an understatement. I don't know how to explain the deep turnings inside me as I watched someone who holds a large part of my heart begin a beautiful new life. It is so strange how you can be happy and sad and overwhelmed and excited and filled with the most bittersweet joy all at the same time. It's really beautiful. Our human words cannot convey what we feel, really. Not ever. We come close, but time and again we cannot truly say what our soul feels. I think this is partly what the Bible means when it talks about the Holy Spirit interceding for us with groanings too deep for words. (Romans 8:26) I believe that there is a language beyond human language. It is found somewhere between our humanity and our spirituality. It is what God knows about you that you cannot explain. It is your deepest prayers. It is the longings that you feel without knowing why. It's the reason that some people can look into your eyes, hear your voice, feel your touch; they know what you feel without you having to say it. How else can you truly express intense love, joy, and empathy? Without words. I'm not talking about telepathy, I'm talking about the place in every man's soul that is only accessible to God. I'm not trying to be a heretic or anything; I can't pretend to know anything special about it. But I do know that God understands our hearts when we do not. Somehow, inexplicably, there is a way to say something without saying it. Those who have the Holy Spirit have experienced this. We have the Spirit; we have groanings that are too deep for words. But we see in a mirror dimly; we do not see as we will one day. Sometimes we can hear each other speaking, but we have to listen. It's a whisper, a breath, a glimpse of what lies within the complexities of our souls. It is beautiful, and I believe in it.
So, all that I am going to say about my dear friend
and her new husband is that I feel what I feel.
She feels what she feels.
He feels what he feels.
We feel something too deep for words.
To say it would be an understatement.
